Someone You Know Raped You? Take a Grasp, Life Continues.
Sexual Harassment is a very controversial topic because the boundaries of what actual is sexual harassment is based on the individual with a few guidelines. Rape is no different and is the harshest form of sexual harassment someone may be subjected to. The most common form of rape is date rape. Date rape is defined as a non-consensual act of intercourse while on a date. Date rape may involve a drug given to you by the person you were with. Each case of date rape is different, but one thing remains true the person whether it was somebody you know or not is a sexual predator.
You might have questions if you have been sexual abused by somebody you know. Often most individuals do not want to report the incident because they cannot believe what has happened, they wonder if it was their fault, or they wonder about the consequences of reporting the incident.
Rape has always been looked at with dubious eyes. It is very hard to prove that sexual intercourse has not been consensual because the lack of witnesses. Even sometimes with witnesses, however if you said no at any time during the incident and you were not willing then it is rape. It doesn’t matter that it was somebody you knew. Yes it is harder when it is somebody you know to report the incident, but you need to know this person has most likely done this before. The offender has probably raped other’s he or she knew. Statistics show that even with a first incident the chances of the offender raping again are very high.
If at any time during the incident you struggled with the individual, voiced your refusal, and asked them to stop without results you were raped. This is not your fault. You did not ask for this behavior to continue, in fact you where vehement against its continuation. This puts the fault on the individual who refused your request. I can’t speak for everyone and their trauma, however it is not unnatural to feel guilty for what went on, doubly when it was somebody you know. Someone you either dated before or thought you knew very well. Seeking a professional to help you overcome these feelings is very important.
Yes there are often consequences to reporting rape. One as mentioned above the individuals looking into your case may have trouble proving what happened. Don’t let this stop you. The consequences of not reporting the rape will allow the person to get away with it and harm others. If it is somebody you know you might lose friends who don’t believe you, but remember they were not there and if they cannot believe you then they were not true friends. The individual may seem remorseful, but he or she must face the consequences.
Date rape by somebody you know is very difficult to face. Reporting the incident may seem too much after all you know this person how can you damage his and your life. Remember he or she damaged their life when they refused to heed your refusals.
Comments (2 comments)
I have a female friend who was drugged and raped by several men in a bathroom at a party. She is now starting to remember what happend and is devastated. They held her down and took turns raping her saying disgusting things to her during it. She had just had surgery on her uterus a week before and was wearing tampons because of bleeding. These sick men took out the tampon and afterwards took wet toilet paper to wipe her off and then stuffed it in her to stop the bleeding. Somewhere near the end the girl whose parents house it was forced her way into the bathroom and took her to the hospital. My friend didn’t know anyone at the party and doesn’t even know where it was. The girl never even bothered to leave her contact info. She was having fun one moment and being gang raped the next. The party was at a very nice house and everyone was well dressed – sad
anon / April 1st, 2009, 7:44 am / #
Reading this article made me cry. I was raped by my ex-boyfriend, repeatedly, last summer. I didn’t know it was rape until six months after I dumped him. He would want to have sex, and when I refused, he would throw things around, make noise, and just try to scare me, until I gave in, even if I was crying, he wouldn’t notice and just force himself on me. I would tell our mutual friends about the forced sex, and no one seemed to support me. Most of them are still his friends, which was hard on me in the beginning. My personality had changed, I was depressed and I just couldn’t be myself. I hated my body and blamed myself for it. The whole ordeal left me physically hurt, and I never thought about putting 2 and 2 together.
It’s been a year now, and only now, I am starting to realize what truly happened. I need to tell someone, but I’m scared of the consequences. It’s hard, but I think soon, I must do what I should have done a long time ago.
This is the worst thing that could happen to a girl (I’m only 20 now), and through this horrid experience, I truly know who my true friends are. Eventhough I am still afraid of what will happen, and how would I be able to prove it all, I am determined to bring justice to myself.
ANON / July 6th, 2009, 1:09 am / #
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