Real Sex Education Facts

I was born with a disability that separated me from the “normal” crowd. I can’t drive because of it, and women laugh at the idea of going out with me on the bus. Depression is very strong in my life and yet people think I’m just a whiner, making it worse as they don’t care…. They just want me to go away.

Everything that happens in my life seems to be decided upon by someone else. I had a Vasectomy when I was only 14 as my parents wanted me put in a care home and that was one of the requirements for people with disabilities. Once I was in the Care Home, I got sexually abused by a Gay Male Caregiver and called the police, but since it was in my room… “No Witness, No Case”. The Administrator told Police that if I report it again, call the office and they’ll take care of it. But the abuse went on with me and other young men, but nothing was ever done about it. I’m out looking for help, but there’s only services for abused women and children, and they can’t help as they say men are the abusers. My abuser was a male, right?

There’s a place called the BC Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse, but to qualify, you must take your abuser to court and win your case. Then they’ll help you, but not for free! It’s $80 a session!!! There’s also a place called the Men’s Trauma Center which mainly addresses elderly men whose wife recently died, but they’ll take anyone, also for $80 a session. If you want help, you have to buy it!!!

My only way to deal with it is isolation. If I go out, I get rejected, stared at, and people who see me coming stop talking, with that look of “what are you doing here” on their faces until I’ve left. I’ll go get my groceries 1/2 an hour before the store closes, while most people have gone home.

The government has me classed Unemployable for Public Safety. I can do Volunteer work, but I can’t legally get a job. Just like I can’t drive as the Safety of Thousands of others is more important than the satisfaction of one man. It’s like my life doesn’t matter.

Then I start thinking about suicide. Not out of pain, but logic… everybody wants me out of the way, right? Would my death make them upset, or glad that’s finally over and done with?

There’s courses that teachj you to think positive about yourself, but then you open the doors and step out into reality. Just because YOU think you’re a nice guy, doesn’t mean the rest of the world agrees. Depression is an on-going thing for me.

Just because I want things to change, doesn’t mean Society will change. Like people who refuse to talk to me… That’s their right.
They choose who their friends are.
And I know what they think of me!

I can feel your depression with in your words. Your situation does not quite make sense to me, but it saddens me that some one can feel so much pain. I have been battling depression myself for the past five years. I hope you do not give up on yourself, I did and I almost died from it and that still did not stop me from giving up. I wish I was capable of saying something profound and meaningful for you, to help you. But all I can say is that the day my family got a puppy I felt happiness for the first time in a long time. It was pure happiness, and I liked feeling happy it was amazing. I know that I may sound a bit off or something…….On an other note, in case you have not already thought of this, sense the government restricts you from working and driving and such, the should be paying for you to go to one of the groups you had mentioned. (i.e. therapy) I wish you well with your life.

I feel compassion for your story. I appretiate you sharing too. I did several things to help myself. I understand fully your situation and I know it is difficult.
First I am a born again Christian. I want to assure you that God did some really good works in me to assist me. I was raised by a bipolar mother who did not use medication. She was extremely violent and verbally abusive as well. My dad was an alcoholic who left us early on. It was just as well when ever he was around, he would get drunk and beat her senceless. I am not sure why she kept us with her, she never hugged us or said I love you or did anything possitive. We moved alot and because we were poor, we saw many random acts of violence out side the home. I was depressed as a child but I never really new it. I guess because I grew up living like that and I didn’t know any other way. God really had to help me and undo a lot of damage. it took along time and I am still a work in progress. Everything I learned growing up was so distorted of what life should be.
I went to a class about bounderies and I read a book called hope for the hurting. I read lots of books in the class and did a great deal of work too.
There was a mens group and a womans group . Cloud and townsend did the books. I really apprechiate thier philosopy and this too helped me grow.
it gave me streagth to move forward in life.
I went to a doctor and therapist, but I didn’t get much out of the therapist because I was taking those classes and they really helped me. But I was diagnose as depressed and I also had post traumatic stress syndrome.
What a relief to find out what was wrong with me.
I still have issues to work through, the depression can be overwhelming when I am off meds. But, I know I need to stay on them and consider my health.
I know the pain of rejection, my mother just never liked me. I had to deal with that issue too.
The reality of life doesn’t change, but I have and I have learned so much to look at the world differently.
We all need to derive our sence of acceptance somewhere.

That person who molested you is just terriable, and the fact no one was there to help you. With every beating I recieved and every molestation, I know the the bible says Christ took our suffering upon him and I was not alone. I know that you feel some sence of self worth and want to and that you do have some hope….. The only way any of us can overcome abuse and find hope is God.

There is this Christian man on the web, he was born with out limbs, I am going to copy and paste his site here. I hope you find some encouragement. Because you are important and and wonderfully made and I know you have a purpose for being created and I hope you are able to overcome, little by little and day by day. The biggest victories are won a little each day.

http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/