Sadly, people who have been the victims of sexual abuse may believe that they are in some way to blame. It is important for people to know that perpetrator is the one who is in the wrong; committing acts that go against nature and God. Sexual abuse can be an act of someone touching another in an inappropriate way. It can also be as serious as an adult having sex with a child. When a person has sex with another person who does not consent to it, even if an adult, this is also sexual abuse. Sexual abuse can also happen to a person in a relationship. If a partner forces the other to perform sexual acts, have intercourse or hurts them while having sex; this is sexual abuse. Sexual abuse is a form of mistreatment that should never be tolerated. A teen who is the victim of sexual abuse should know that they are not to blame. They should talk to someone; a parent, a teacher, a guidance counselor, a trusted family adult friend or a trusted neighbor and ask for help. No one ever asks to be sexually abused and help is there for teens who will ask for it.
When most of us think of sexual abuse, we think of inappropriate touch: fondling, forced masturbation, even outright rape. But there is also an insidious kind of sexual abuse that requires no bodily contact whatsoever. Sexual emotional abuse. Sexual emotional abuse may accompany different kinds of physical sexual abuse, or it may exist completely on its own. Continue reading
Rape is the usual word for the act of one person forcing another to have sex. Rape is one of the most horrible things to happen to a person. It is not only painful and traumatic, but it is hard to forget. Men and women can be raped. Men and women can be rapists, although it’s mostly men. Women rapists tend to stick objects painfully into the genitals and anus of their mostly female victims. If you remember nothing else of this article, please remember this – rape is not the victim’s fault. It’s the fault of the rapist only. Continue reading
There are not many more difficult situations to get out of than that of an abusive relationship. Some might think that physical or even sexual abuse, the kind that is evident, is the most destructive, but research suggests otherwise.
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Sexual Harassment is a very controversial topic because the boundaries of what actual is sexual harassment is based on the individual with a few guidelines. Rape is no different and is the harshest form of sexual harassment someone may be subjected to. The most common form of rape is date rape. Date rape is defined as a non-consensual act of intercourse while on a date. Date rape may involve a drug given to you by the person you were with. Each case of date rape is different, but one thing remains true the person whether it was somebody you know or not is a sexual predator.
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1. No = No. If a partner says it, believe it. Otherwise you will be turning your potential lover into your victim. It isn’t someone else’s responsibility to set our limits. If someone doesn’t say “no,” it certainly does not mean “yes.” Continue reading
Most survivors, female or male, never tell anyone.
If someone tells you about their abuse consider it an honor. You may not feel lucky, but you are.
Welcome to a very confusing, murky world. Be ready to feel many, sometimes contradictory, feelings. Continue reading
When I address high school girls and college women I begin by telling them about male socialization. Most haven’t heard the truth about male socialization, especially from a male. Very often as I talk, some cry, most get very quiet. Previously they have been taught to ignore their instincts; not to identify abuse that they have suffered as abuse; that the greatest danger is from a stranger; and that it is nearly inevitable that they will be assaulted. Their only hope, they have been taught is: Continue reading
One of the most prevalent misconceptions about sexual violence is that it is sexual. The big lie is that the perpetrator couldn’t control himself, he found her so attractive that he had to…etc. This suggested that rape was an outgrowth of some instinctual genetic imperative. Individual men were seen to have no control of their individual urges. The notion that rape is sexual (biologically-based, hardwired) and not a misuse of power discounts and denies the perceptions of survivors who did not think of their experiences as sex (or sex gone slightly awry) and is slander to those males that do not assault. Activists rightly identified the reality of the actions of individuals existing within the context of a rape culture. Individual perpetrators are responsible for their own behavior. Continue reading
Historically, female power was feared by male-dominant power systems. These systems attempted to control and suppress female sexuality as one way of subverting women’s autonomy. The false and unfair dichotomies of Madonna/whore or good girl/bad girl define the only officially-sanctioned models of allowable female sexuality. In a workshop I presented years ago, a high school girl responded that she was “screwed” either way if she said “yes” to sex she was called a slut and if she said “no” to sex she was called frigid. This pernicious double-standard has existed for many generations. Continue reading