Most survivors, female or male, never tell anyone.
If someone tells you about their abuse consider it an honor. You may not feel lucky, but you are.
Welcome to a very confusing, murky world. Be ready to feel many, sometimes contradictory, feelings. Continue reading
When I address high school girls and college women I begin by telling them about male socialization. Most haven’t heard the truth about male socialization, especially from a male. Very often as I talk, some cry, most get very quiet. Previously they have been taught to ignore their instincts; not to identify abuse that they have suffered as abuse; that the greatest danger is from a stranger; and that it is nearly inevitable that they will be assaulted. Their only hope, they have been taught is: Continue reading
One of the most prevalent misconceptions about sexual violence is that it is sexual. The big lie is that the perpetrator couldn’t control himself, he found her so attractive that he had to…etc. This suggested that rape was an outgrowth of some instinctual genetic imperative. Individual men were seen to have no control of their individual urges. The notion that rape is sexual (biologically-based, hardwired) and not a misuse of power discounts and denies the perceptions of survivors who did not think of their experiences as sex (or sex gone slightly awry) and is slander to those males that do not assault. Activists rightly identified the reality of the actions of individuals existing within the context of a rape culture. Individual perpetrators are responsible for their own behavior. Continue reading
Historically, female power was feared by male-dominant power systems. These systems attempted to control and suppress female sexuality as one way of subverting women’s autonomy. The false and unfair dichotomies of Madonna/whore or good girl/bad girl define the only officially-sanctioned models of allowable female sexuality. In a workshop I presented years ago, a high school girl responded that she was “screwed” either way if she said “yes” to sex she was called a slut and if she said “no” to sex she was called frigid. This pernicious double-standard has existed for many generations. Continue reading
A “microbicide” is a substance that can substantially reduce transmission of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) when applied in the vagina. Like today’s spermicides, a microbicide could be produced in many forms, including; gels, creams, suppositories, films, or in the form of a sponge or a vaginal ring that slowly releases the active ingredient over time. Microbicides are not currently available, but scientists are pursuing over 60 product leads. Continue reading
A lot of people may say that age is a state of mind, that a person is only as old as they feel. That is an upbeat and optimistic approach to aging; however the question is if that applies when it comes to relationships. It has quite often been acceptable for a male to be the older person in a relationship. Some issues can arise if the opposite happens; a younger man and an older woman. In addition, there can be some issues as well, if the male is many years older than the female. It is possible to have a secure and loving relationship in which there is an age difference, if both people involved understand certain issues that may arise and they can work together to resolve them. Continue reading
Many people, especially teenagers ask themselves if they are ready to have sex. There is no one right time to have sex and everyone is ready to have sex at different times in their lives. Sometimes, our morals and value system determine when we are ready to have sex.
Other times, we rely on both our heads and our hearts to tell us that we are ready to have sex. The decision to have sex is a big decision and should not be a decision that is entered into lightly. The question am I ready to have sex is a question that almost everyone asks themselves at some point in their lives. Unfortunately, not many people will be able to answer it with a definite “yes or no.” You are the only person who knows if you are truly ready to have sex. But, here are some questions that will hopefully help you work it out.
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So you feel as if nothing is working out in your life or maybe some things are working out for you but your current relationship has executed a wrong turn and has failed to find the right road again. If you are frustrated in your relationship or with your partner you might want to consider taking a break. Taking a break does not mean that you no longer love each other. A break does not mean that you will not resolve your issues within the relationship. A break is a common practice among people who are dating, live together or our married. Taking a break can lead to a sense of relationship renewal and better communication between you and your partner. If you are unsatisfied with your relationship there are a few things to consider before you decide to take a break. Continue reading
concept
A woman takes a pill that contains artificial hormones – either a combination of estrogen and progestin, or a progestin-only pill – every day. The pill works by preventing ovulation, increasing cervical mucus to block sperm, and creating a thin, unfriendly uterine environment. Continue reading
concept
In a surgical procedure, a woman’s fallopian tubes are blocked or cut so that sperm and egg cannot unite. Continue reading