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Signs you are Not Ready for Sex

Many people, especially teenagers ask themselves if they are ready to have sex. There is no one right time to have sex and everyone is ready to have sex at different times in their lives. Sometimes, our morals and value system determine when we are ready to have sex.
Other times, we rely on both our heads and our hearts to tell us that we are ready to have sex. The decision to have sex is a big decision and should not be a decision that is entered into lightly. The question am I ready to have sex is a question that almost everyone asks themselves at some point in their lives. Unfortunately, not many people will be able to answer it with a definite “yes or no.” You are the only person who knows if you are truly ready to have sex. But, here are some questions that will hopefully help you work it out.

  1. Are you having sex because YOU want to have sex? If you are feeling pressure to have sex from your partner or friends then, please don’t have sex.
  2. Do I know my partner well enough? If you don’t trust your partner then, you shouldn’t have sex with them. In addition, if you have never kissed the person that you are with, then you are definitely not ready to have sex with them. Moreover, sex can leave you vulnerable afterwards in a way that you are not prepared for., so it is better to be with someone who you know is likely to be sticking around for a while or for the long haul. Usually, you will have better sex with someone you know really well and are comfortable with, and sex will be best with someone you love.
  3. Can I talk to my partner about this easily? If you can’t talk about sex, then you are not ready to have sex. It is as simple as that. Honesty about how you are feeling will make it easier for both of you and it will make sex better in the future.
  4. Do I know enough about sex?
  5. Do we both want to have sex? You may decide that you are ready to have sex but your partner might not be ready to have sex, even if they have had sexual partners before. It is very important to know that for sex to work, you both have to want to do it. Don’t ever pressure anyone to have sex if their not sure; this is very wrong and it will cost you your partner’s respect and the respect of other people. Here is how to know when someone isn’t ready to have sex.
  6. Ask your partner. This is the simplest way to find out if they wish to go “all of the way.”
  7. Read your partners body language. If they are moving away from you or trying to leave, then STOP! However, if they are warming up to you then, they probably do want to have sex.
  8. Listen to the tone of their voice.
  9. Always use common sense.
  10. Some people want to have sex after a first date and some people want to have sex only after they get married. Everybody is different so it is very important to know what you and your partner wants.
  11. You only lose your virginity once. Your partner might not be as eager to lose theirs as you are.
  12. Always remember, NO means NO!
  13. Good luck, have fun, and stay safe.

Last Modified : October 31st, 2006
Filed under : Sex and Emotions
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Comments (5 comments)

what if we both wanted to have sex, and we we’re ready, and he had a Condom with him, but i didn’t have a birth pill…so i said no. Should i get a birth pill the next time we’re ready? And what birth pill works best?

Nicole Monroy / March 9th, 2008, 3:30 am / #

Nicole- this may be a bit late, but here’s my response: condoms break. Combining birth control (when taken on time, consistently) and condoms is a much better method of protection. My advice to you would be to, if you feel comfortable doing it, and if your doctor ok’s it, go on the pill so that when you’re ready, you’re ready. I think you did the right thing saying no.
As to your second question, all birth control pills work the same way, and they’re all equally effective. Low-dose or progestin-only pills have a higher risk of not working when you forget or are late taking them, but otherwise there really isn’t much difference. Your doctor can tell you in more detail.

bri / May 7th, 2008, 11:59 am / #

is it true that the first time it goes in it hurts. like it doesnt feel good. it just hurts?

alyson martinez / June 4th, 2008, 6:18 am / #

Being a virgin, is a moment to cherish, so wen u loose your virginity make it a moment 2 cherish 2. I knw I wil.

Bytch / May 25th, 2009, 3:35 am / #

I think that finger sex can replace actual sex because it would also make both parties sexually satisfied. But why do males still prefer actual sex?

Susan / May 30th, 2010, 6:58 pm / #

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